


Lie to Me (so I Can Fool Myself)

by laxeiya



Series: Cupid Woong [1]
Category: AB6IX (Band), MXM (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, Dongpaca, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, YoungDong, chamhwi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22764205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laxeiya/pseuds/laxeiya
Summary: When Jeon Woong joined AB6IX, he thought he was walking into a world filled with musical talent and charismatic personality.What he really found was a world made up of artists whose lives revolved around painting a picture to deceive not only the public, but each other.Unfortunately for them, Woong has not mastered the art of keeping up appearances, nor is he capable of allowing his family to destroy itself.
Relationships: Jeon Woong & Everyone, Jeon Woong & Kim Donghyun, Jeon Woong & Lee Daehwi, Jeon Woong & Lim Youngmin, Jeon Woong & Park Woojin, Kim Donghyun/Lim Youngmin, Lee Daehwi & Lim Youngmin, Lee Daehwi & Park Woojin, Lee Daehwi/Park Woojin, Lim Youngmin & Park Woojin
Series: Cupid Woong [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636978
Comments: 31
Kudos: 60





	1. Can't Judge a Book by Its Cover

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be a cute one-shot or two-shot for Valentine's Day, but it seems I'm incapable of writing anything without some drama or angst thrown in... Even then, it was supposed to be a long one-shot, but it didn't work out that way either, so here we are. *cries*
> 
> This is my first AB6IX story, and my first fanfiction in a while, so I'm very rusty. I'll do my best and hope to improve - will probably go back and revise as well as I get more comfortable. ^_^
> 
> This is mostly Dongpaca-centered, but might I say that I'm surprised there are not many Chamhwi fics, like, anywhere? They're so cuuute >w< I'm hoping to help expand that pairing in the future!
> 
> In any case, hope you guys enjoy~
> 
> And this will not have a regular update schedule, but when I'm in a writing mood (which I have been), updates are frequent. ^_^
> 
> Feedback is also always welcomed no matter how long or short (and it helps fuel the fire to write), so feel free to comment. <3
> 
> Thank you for reading~

_**How It Began...** _

It started out with an innocent suggestion one morning soon after AB6IX’s debut promotions ended. On the first full day off in a long time, Woong and his fellow Daejeon mate were alone in the dorms. Youngmin wanted to capture the first memories of post-promotions with his camera, Woojin was determined to have his first real meal in forever, and Daehwi…well, Woong wasn’t sure what the maknae was up to, but the youngest was in such a rush, Woong couldn’t ask.

And so, that left him and Donghyun lazing about, eating ramen, and playing games. They planned to browse the channels afterwards, too. Nothing out of the ordinary, but now that the chaos of debuting and being an idol was temporarily over and things were settling down, Woong’s senses seemed to regain consciousness. He thought about now and the past, his own and what he knew of the others’. What events led him here—and just like that, something so stupidly obvious jumped out at him, Woong had to restrain mimicking Daehwi’s famous squawk.

“What is it?” Donghyun had asked, catching the older’s wide-eyed frozen state only seconds later. When the main vocal didn’t answer right away, he eyed Woong for a moment and, detecting something a bit more serious than losing, paused the game and shifted toward the shorter a bit more. “Something wrong?”

Woong bit his lip and glanced down to his autumn-leaf-print pajama pants. “Sorry, I…” He thought a moment, then laughed softly at himself, the tension melting away almost as quickly as it came. “Oh, I’m so stupid. I just realized how selfish I’ve been and I just feel a little sorry.”

Donghyun raised a brow. “Sorry for what? What did you do?” He chuckled, eyes alight and nose scrunched in curiosity.

“Take so much of your time.” The grin on the younger’s face turned to confusion. He wasn’t really expecting a serious answer. Woong smiled, half in guilt and half in fondness. “All of you have been great since day one, and I’m especially thankful for the time you spent with me so I wasn’t so awkward, but it’s okay now.”

To be honest, Woong didn’t know what he was so afraid of in the beginning of his idol journey. Getting approved by not only their CEO, but the public to stand next to the famous Brand New Boys from Produce 101, yes, but the members themselves? He knew most of them already and performed with MXM many times. Of course, they’d likely get along, yet his nerves got the best of him anyway and Donghyun came like the reliable friend he was to make sure Woong was always included and comfortable.

How lucky he was to have a friend like him, and a leader so understanding and accommodating as Youngmin. Woong had to pay them back one day, and the thought made him smile bright. There was no hint of sadness or hesitation this time. “Thank you for helping me adjust,” the redhead said. “But now that I’m settled, I think it would be a waste for you to miss another day with a certain someone.” He smirked.

But Donghyun only gave him a blank stare. He blinked once, twice, three times…Woong saw the gears turning in the younger’s head as his eyes trailed to one side then back at Woong. There was something besides puzzlement and bewilderment in those eyes, but Woong couldn’t pinpoint what. Eyebrows furrowed slightly, the brunette tilted his head. “Uh…what? Certain someone?”

Woong made a gesture with his hands, as if it were obvious. “It’s been a while since you spent proper time with Youngminie-hyung, right?” The younger’s jaw clenched. Woong paused.

The silence lasted about two seconds too long before Donghyun replied. Woong was sure he meant it to be casual, but his voice came out a tad too defensive and quiet. “What about Hyung? Why bring him up all of a sudden?”

It was Woong’s turn to blink. “I just thought you might like to spend the day off with your boyfriend.”

The redhead was met with another blank stare. This time, however, no gears were turning, and no confusion marked the sculpted brows. Donghyun slowly turned away to look back at the still screen of the television, an unreadable expression on his face. “What are you talking about, dummy?” His voice was steady, but soft. “We’re not dating.”

Woong’s brows shot up. “Are you kidding me? You two were all over each other during MXM promotions, even on-camera!” He shuddered, recalling the amount of times those ‘moments’ border-lined 19+. He was shocked no articles or controversy ever came from them. “Not to mention that staring contest at our showcase… I’m not stupid, Dongdong. You can’t tell me nothing’s going on between you two.”

It was all meant as a tease. A way to make the younger break out into a bashful grin and cringe from embarrassment.

Woong truly did think the leader and lead vocal were an item, though. They were way too bold and suggestively affectionate to be trying to ‘keep it a secret.’ Woong was surprised the first time he walked into Donghyun trapping Youngmin against a wall between his arms in a corridor. Youngmin was slightly taken aback, but obviously didn’t disapprove. Donghyun himself played it off like a joke and moved away seconds later, but both boys were completely flustered and the younger couldn’t look the alpaca in the eyes. Woong didn’t think too much of it at the time, but when he became MXM’s backup dancer later, he couldn’t help noticing how often this same action occurred between the two, and how confident and daring these events gradually became. Soon enough, Youngmin was the one nonchalantly pulling his own suggestive moves—on-camera, no less—that momentarily made Donghyun become red and silent and Woong choke on his drinks.

There was absolutely none of those kinds of interactions between the two since they’ve reunited in AB6IX, so it was only natural for Woong to think his spending time with Donghyun had something to do with it.

But seeing the ruby color that now filled the younger’s neck, and the way the boy lowered his head so that his bangs covered his swelling eyes told Woong perhaps he touched on something he shouldn’t have. Donghyun said nothing, but the redness extended to his cheeks and his breathing became a bit labored. That’s when, a bit too late, Woong thought that maybe the two had a falling out and the relationship was a sensitive topic. Hopefully it was not because of him, though Woong couldn’t help the guilt forming in his belly again as he watched his best friend slowly close in on himself.

Instantly, Woong pulled the vocal into an embrace, and just like that, the charismatic visual lost all composure. He clung to the cotton fabric of Woong’s pajamas and allowed his tears to wet the shoulder offered to him. Woong could say nothing, fearing he’d only make things worse. So, he pulled his friend closer and rubbed small circles along his back instead.

Woong didn’t know how long they stayed there, but it was long enough for him to vaguely wonder what he would say or do if one of the others were to come back and see them like this.

That’s a lot of questions he wasn’t ready for—let alone Donghyun.

However, his worries were unnecessary. With a deep intake of breath, Donghyun relaxed fully in his hold. The tears had long since ended, but sniffles or hiccups echoed the room. Now, only the vocal’s breathing remained in the air, which gradually became more and more even.

When a voice broke through the silence, Woong almost couldn’t make out the words despite the source so close to his ear. “He hates me…”

He heard wrong—or was it that they changed topic without him noticing? “What?” was all he could muster.

“He hates me, hyung…” came the broken croak. “Youngmin-hyung hates me and it’s all my fault.”


	2. Fact or Fiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all. Here’s the the next chapter. For some reason, second chapters are my kryptonite, so this was a challenge, meh...
> 
> In any case, thank you all so much for the kudos and comments! I practically burst from surprise and happiness ^//^ I hope you guys continue to enjoy and you're ready for the rollercoaster that this story has turned into <3
> 
> For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Eye Contact/Staring Contest that’s been mentioned in the story (and will continue to be referenced), here is the clip from AB6IX’s debut showcase with English subtitles (already set to the time). https://youtu.be/NxtatzOzm2w?t=775 (may have to copy/paste. Sometimes it worked for me and sometimes it didn't)

**_How It Progressed…_ **

Donghyun’s words echoed in Woong’s mind again and again, but nothing processed. Nothing made sense. Before he could think, his lips were already moving. “He doesn’t hate—”

“Hyung…” It was barely over a whisper, but so soft, so broken, so full of everything yet empty of emotion that Woong stilled his tongue. Donghyun became limp in his hold, allowing the older to support the weight of them both and keep them upright on the wooden floor. He didn’t say another word. He didn’t have to.

Donghyun was out of tears, but Woong’s was just beginning.

* * *

Time was no longer an issue in the main vocal’s mind. He was barely aware of Donghyun’s struggle when the younger suggested they both freshen up before the others came home and Woong locked him in a vice grip instead. He heard nothing, his vision was blurry, and all Woong could do was claw at each and every memory of the MXM duo from his first meeting with the four Brand New Boys, to bedtime the previous night.

What on earth could he have missed?

Yes, the duo was not as touchy-feely as before, but new obstacles confronted them all. Everyone was a little on edge, and it wasn’t until they were given the green light for five members that most of the tension melted away. The majority of their new schedules were then about bonding as a team. Donghyun kept close to Woong’s side throughout these schedules, but he played with Youngmin a few times during breaks in photoshoots or filming.

Youngmin did not hate Donghyun.

Debut day was the only time since joining AB6IX where Woong was slapped square in the face with the extreme chemistry that still lived in YoungDong. Donghyun’s intensity during the showcase’s eye contact segment banged on 19+’s door and even made their resident sass-machine Daehwi lost for words. Woong was honestly proud of himself for (mostly) keeping his composure and not choking on air. In fact, he even found himself narrating a storyline off the top of his head in hopes of distracting the audience of just how _personal_ that staring contest actually was. If there was an opportunity for Youngmin ‘to hate’ Donghyun, it would have been at that moment, but no. Though visibly flustered, the alpaca didn’t hesitate to almost fling himself onto the vocal, making Donghyun lose his balance. Youngmin even scolded—all blush, no bite—the younger the moment the two were backstage.

Youngmin did not hate Donghyun.

After the showcase, they were busy. Just busy. Promotions and photoshoots and filming and networking—so many things at once to the point Woong could almost never tell when there was actually a scheduled break. His mind was blown and his thoughts were a giant mess. Woong found it difficult to decipher and remember their manager’s instructions, let alone keep up with what Donghyun and Youngmin were up to. But even then, Woong distinctly recalled the younger three teasing the leader about something and the alpaca snatching the maknae-line, but letting Donghyun live.

Youngmin did not hate Donghyun.

And last night… The five sat in a pentagon shape in the common area, discussed their final thoughts and struggles about debuting, gave advice or encouragement when needed, talked about the future…the atmosphere was good, Woong had thought. In the end, Youngmin turned in first, patting the top of each of their heads as he walked toward his bedroom. Donghyun didn’t look up at him, but he could have still been processing their discussion, as was often the case.

Youngmin did _not_ hate Donghyun.

Period. Plain and simple. This was all a misunderstanding—

But Donghyun wasn’t the type to keep things to himself if there was a problem. He would have certainly spoken to Youngmin before coming to such a drastic conclusion.

Youngmin did not hate Donghyun…yet how was Woong supposed to explain the boy who finally broke from his hold and looked him in the eyes? The face that greeted Woong was swollen with emotion, red from being pressed against his shoulder, and wet at the cheeks and neck. The brunette’s tears had never stopped, Woong noticed. They simply made their way down a silent trail, passed a tiny smile that slowly graced Donghyun’s lips as he huffed.

Donghyun reached out and gently wiped Woong’s own eyes dry. “Hey, I thought this was my sob story,” he said softly. A fist tapped Woong’s arm. A weak attempt at a punishment. “Don’t go stealing my thunder.” He chuckled, though the effort seemed to take more energy than it should have.

“Donghyun, I—”

“I’m sorry,” Donghyun whispered quickly, the smile gone in an instant. He hung his head, but not before Woong could see an empty glaze come over the visual’s eyes. “For all that. I—” He breathed in deeply, mopping up his tears. “Can…we pretend this never happened?”

“Never happened?” Woong frowned. “You really think I’m going to just ignore the breakdown my best friend just had?” Maybe his voice came out a bit too hard. “Then pretend that he isn’t hurting?”

The younger couldn’t will himself to lift his head back up. Woong could see his nose brighten red again through the breaks in the brunette’s bangs. “I was the idiot, Woong-hyung,” Donghyun murmured. “That’s why you can forget about it. I messed up. It was my fault. It’s my pain to bear and problem to solve. Youngmin-hyung has every right to hate—”

“Stop that!” Woong shook the vocal by the shoulders, begging the other to look at him, but Donghyun refused. New tears reflected the light of the television as they dropped from Donghyun’s eyes to his trembling fists. Woong could hear the desperation in his own voice as he spoke. “Donghyun-ah, I don’t know what happened, but I see the way Youngmin-hyung acts with you. He doesn’t hate you. I know it.”

The vocal clenched his teeth. Woong internally cursed himself. “Can we stop talking about this?” came only as a whisper. “Please.”

Woong hesitated, biting his bottom lip as he contemplated his next, hopefully better, words. “Not until you tell me what happened.” He squeezed the younger’s shoulders lightly, pleading. “Tell me, please, so I can understand.”

Before Donghyun could respond, familiar, though muffled, laughter outside the apartment broke through the stillness of the room. The vocal’s head shot up, eyes wet and wide in panic. He ripped free of Woong’s grasp in an instant and bolted down the hall, leaving the redhead to blink after him, his heart sinking at the depth of fear engraved in his friend’s eyes.

Woong was in a daze when the apartment door opened moments later, revealing a laughing Woojin trying to keep himself upright with an amused alpaca’s help.

Daehwi’s voice, part mortified and part indignant, was heard somewhere behind them. “What?” he gasped. “You, too, Youngminie-hyung?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to. I saw that smirk. Don’t even try!” The eldest chuckled and reached back to ruffle the maknae’s hair. “Yah!”

Daehwi’s face appeared just then, sporting a strong pout before noticing Woong sat crossed-legged on the floor. The pout stretched into a grin as Daehwi kicked off his shoes and dived toward the redhead. “Woongie-hyung,” the maknae sang. “Don’t you think Youngminie-hyung spends more time on his skincare routine than I do? I mean, how else is he keeping those youthful looks at his age?”

Said leader froze, dropping the maknae’s shoes he was kind enough to organize and put away. Woojin stepped away just as the alpaca spun his head in Daehwi’s direction, but made the mistake of scoffing. Youngmin immediately changed course and snatched the dark-brunette’s leg instead, poking him in the most ticklish areas until the dancer crumbled to the floor, nearly in tears from laughter. Daehwi clapped along, delighted at his work no doubt, then took to cowering behind Woong when Youngmin scowled at him again.

Rather than slow motion, everything seemed to go so fast. Too fast. The scene before Woong was almost surreal. Any other time, he would have joined in the fun. He could have been laughing along with Woojin and also receive the (non)wrath of the alpaca; or maybe he and Daehwi would be partners in crime tormenting the eldest, then have a bit of sympathy when the leader opted to only huff and turn away instead of go after them; or perhaps Woong would have actually been the peacemaker and compliment his hyung while also saving Daehwi’s life if the youngest decided to keep adding fuel to the fire.

But he couldn’t do any of those things now. His body was numb, and his mind was going places he didn’t know. He desperately wanted to go after Donghyun, comfort him, talk to him, but of course, that was out of the question. At the same time, he wanted to drag Youngmin into a room and interrogate—speak to—him, but what could he say to get him alone without looking suspicious? And even then, how was he supposed to broach the subject in the first place?

An icy cold touch on the forehead snapped Woong out of his thoughts. Woojin stared down at him, holding the soda can pressed against the main vocal’s head. “Youngmin-hyung’s going to combust if you stare at him any longer,” the dancer casually murmured. “The skincare thing isn’t that important, ya know. We all know that hyung is worse than Daehwi. No comparison.”

“Ah, no, that’s not…” Woong trailed off, eyes slowly sliding away from the dark-brunette. Daehwi had moved away at some point without him noticing, helping Youngmin move some convenient store bags from the floor near the door to the kitchen table. He was blissfully chatting away with the eldest’s full attention. “You guys went shopping?”

Woojin raised a brow. He studied the redhead for a moment, in which Woong gulped, realizing his mistake too late. However, his worry was unfounded when the dancer only planted himself beside the main vocal. Woong subtly moved his upper body away. His shoulder was still wet and he hadn’t yet come up with an excuse as to why, should someone notice and ask.

“Yeah,” Woojin finally said. “Where’s Donghyunie-hyung? We’re going to have a movie marathon.” He showed off the soda can proudly, as if it proved their intentions.

Woong sweated. To be fair, he didn’t know whether Donghyun escaped to his bedroom or the bathroom, but stating as much would only make him look worse in the dancer’s already curious eyes. Plus, Donghyun was likely not even in the mood to see any of them, let alone him or Youngmin. And so, he spilled out the first words that came into his mind. “I think he said something about feeling sick, so he might not be up to the marathon.”

Youngmin glanced up, momentarily pausing his unpacking of the bags. “Donghyun’s sick?”

_Woong, you idiot._

Woong immediately waved his hands, nervous laughter shadowing his words. “Wait, no. I heard wrong—we were playing games and he was fine. He probably said something else—I don’t know why I said he was sick.”

“I said I had to check my storage _disk_ , not that I was sick,” a familiar voice chided Woong from behind. He received a light knock to the top of his head immediately after.

Woong’s head whipped around in an instant, eyes the size of saucers at a grinning Donghyun standing above him. The visual’s complexion was as natural as could be, no redness in sight. The swelling had gone down to normal bloating-level, there was no evidence of a tear having been shed, and his eyes…Donghyun’s eyes were bright and sparkled with amusement at Woong’s flabbergasted expression.

There was no hint of sorrow or fear.

The redhead opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound would come out. What were the words he even wanted to say?

Without missing a beat, Donghyun glided into the kitchen area to Daehwi's side of the table. He ruffled the shorter's hair—ignoring the _“what is up with everyone and my hair today?”_ chirp—before peeking over the maknae’s shoulders at the assorted drinks and treats arranged on the table. “Ooh, came prepared, I see.” He flashed the eldest a cheeky smile. “Since you guys picked the snacks, Woong and I get to pick the movies!”

Youngmin raised a brow. He thoroughly inspected the brunette with his eyes from where he stood—making sure Donghyun really wasn’t sick, Woong assumed—then shrugged, gathering the discarded bags. “That’s not how it works, but okay.”

Donghyun pumped a fist in the air and cheered. Immediately, he grabbed a few bowls and began preparing the movie snacks, rambling about the few films he’s been interested in but didn’t get a chance to watch yet due to their schedules. Daehwi added his own suggestions while Woojin asked questions about each title. Youngmin quietly shuffled around the dorm gathering comforters and pillows so they could all settle in.

It played out like any other day.

And it was this moment in which Woong’s internal clock had broken, and world flipped upside down. Watching the others, time neither slowed nor sped up. It was past surreal. He was back to watching them from afar or only through a device. A viewer looking into a world made up of scripts, directions, production crews, and editors—

Except, this wasn’t television. This was real life.

But what was true and what was a lie? Woong thought he knew, but now he wasn't sure.

Had Woong imagined the morning and early afternoon? Had the broken boy in his arms been a mere figment of his imagination?

Or was the lively visual that claimed him as his seat-mate an A-Class actor more than deserving of an award?

But if the latter was the case…

Did that mean Youngmin was an A-Class actor, too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all for reading~ <3
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and feedback is always welcomed because I'll improve faster (and be able to revise better).


	3. Slip

**_How Deep It Runs…_ **

Donghyun had chosen a slapstick comedy to start off their movie night. The kind with sarcasm in every other line, and the most outrageous yet disturbingly accurate play on situations the boys may have done themselves if given complete reign (and assured safety). Five minutes could not go by without at least one of them—mostly the three youngest ones—laughing, commenting, or somehow roasting one another about how they would react if in a given situation, and whether said individual would be the cause of the other four’s misfortune.

Woong could recall the vocal’s curiosity about this film weeks prior, but he couldn’t help wondering if Donghyun purposefully chose this movie first in hopes of deflecting the others’ attention. True to his word, the visual had claimed Woong as his seat-mate, and in the small time between Youngmin planting the cushions on the floor and Woojin moving out of the way, Donghyun had grabbed the dazed redhead as if also making room for the bedding. He repositioned the main vocal so that Donghyun was on the side with his wet shoulder instead, though there was still space between them. The brunette had also situated them in the back of the gathering, in front of the sofa and protected from any wandering eyes that may have noticed Woong’s faint bewildered and concerned expression that seemed permanently stuck on his face. Furthermore, a comedy like this allowed everyone to focus on the movie, allowing, in theory, Woong enough time to gather his bearings and act like his normal self by the time someone decided to really look and talk to him.

In all honesty, had the morning’s events not occurred, Woong wouldn’t have thought twice about Donghyun’s actions or motives. The entire motions seemed so natural.

And maybe Woong was overthinking things, but now he couldn’t help it. He even began to watch and analyze their leader’s every move. He found it odd how Youngmin made a special space for the drinks and snacks in the center where everyone—who sat like a normal person—could reach without much effort, yet seemed to have purposefully chosen to sit at the very edge of the bedded area. Not only was he out of range of said treats even with his long arms, he was also far away from Donghyun. It was the kind of spot the rapper could get away with without receiving a questioning glance or blocking anyone’s view of the television.

But surely, Woong was reading too much into it?

He didn’t know anymore, and felt guilty suddenly being suspicious of his friends. More than once during the film, Woong would frown in admiration at the maknae-line’s blissful ignorance of his conflict. Woojin sat with the rapper, legs stretched out and nonchalantly passing the alpaca a snack whenever he grabbed one for himself. The sparrow was talkative and got the older’s attention when Youngmin didn’t react to an especially humorous part in the film, or, coincidentally, each time Woong personally found the leader being too still for too long. Daehwi, by default, had taken the spacious vacant area opposite the Busan duo with a delighted squeal at having leg and arm room. He spent the majority of his time reacting to each scene or bickering with Woojin when said dancer compared the otter to one of the characters in the movie, and Daehwi, _of course_ , reasoned how he’d _never_ do such things. Youngmin often had a fond smile on his face as he watched the two during those moments.

It was then Woong considered that maybe Youngmin chose that spot simply because he wanted the maknae-line to lay comfortably, despite his own legs having little room to flex on the comforters.

It was certainly likely…and was probably the case.

Donghyun, for his part, pointedly ignored Woong’s glances and silent questions, keeping his focus solely on the television screen in front of them and reacting when appropriate. The main vocal wasn’t expecting any answers, though. He already knew he wouldn’t get one. Not here. Not now. He was simply curious about how deep this ran. Not once did the light in the visual’s eyes dim, and not once did his grin falter. However, the fact said visual avoided eye contact and the grin almost never left his face was telling enough.

But if Woong was being honest, he’d have never noticed this if he weren’t paying attention.

* * *

By the time the third film rolled around, Woong’s expression was schooled into one of neutral indifference. Not for anyone, not even for himself. He had processed the situation. Was aware of the circumstances. He had questions, but needed to figure out how to get the answers. He no longer had a reason to take in the surroundings, for all his focus was now on figuring out his next move.

Which was probably why the main vocal could only blink when something took hold of his arm. Even when he turned to the source, a long moment had to pass before his vision dissolved from its blank haze to reveal the brown eyes of a caramel otter.

“Woongie-hyung,” Daehwi whispered. “Are you okay?”

Woong tilted his head, the indifference turning to pure confusion. “What? Why? Do I look bad?”

Daehwi frowned. “Blood, guts, and all things torture has flashed across that screen I don’t know how many times, and you’re sitting here like you’re waiting for the subway back to Daejeon on a Sunday afternoon.”

Donghyun, having been in ear-shot, snorted at Daehwi’s words but didn’t interact beyond that. Woong, on the other hand, didn’t know what to say, his mind still trying to catch up. He glanced at the television in time to see a girl dodge nails jutting out of a wall, but the boy behind her wasn’t quite fast enough and got impaled instead. Daehwi whined, shielding his eyes. Woong didn’t react. He wondered when Donghyun put a horror movie on, and tried to recall what the previous film was before it.

The redhead missed the disbelief and utter disturbance flash across the maknae’s face, but turned as Daehwi tugged at his arm. “I can’t take this,” the otter huffed. “Help me replenish the snacks?” He grabbed at the half-empty bowls in the center of the bedding.

Woong nodded, allowing the boy to pull him up and guide him only a few meters into the kitchen area. Woong watched, curious, as Daehwi placed the bowls on the far counter instead of the table, but then dismissed the silent question when the younger pointed to the cabinets directly above, where the chips were placed earlier.

Easier journey. Less hassle. Of course.

Woong handed Daehwi one bag while he took another. As he began filling the bowl closest to him, Daehwi lightly leaned into his arm.

Woong’s heart stopped, momentarily pausing in the pouring. That was the side of the wet shoulder. Thanks to Donghyun, he felt safe enough to forget about it, but now the main vocal kicked himself for not coming up with an excuse anyway.

However, Daehwi didn’t seem fazed at all. His eyes were focused solely on the bowl in front of him as he took his sweet time uncurling and opening the bag of chips in hand. Only then did the main vocal realize the outer edges of his shoulder were completely dry now, but his inner shoulder was not quite there yet. He tried to keep his breathing even and hoped the otter wouldn’t grab his shoulders for whatever reason.

But Daehwi leaned in just a bit more instead. “Woongie-hyung,” he whispered, even softer than before. “Keep pouring.”

Woong stared at him. “What?”

“The chips. Keep pouring.” The voice was still soft, but more firm.

Woong resumed his task at a slow and steady pace, looking at Daehwi, but the boy kept his eyes downward, now adjusting himself to also fill his bowl. “Is something wrong?” Woong whispered.

“Are you really okay?” Daehwi asked.

Woong raised a brow. “Yeah, of course. Why do you keep asking that?”

The maknae’s expression changed from poised to a mix of disapproval, uncertainty, and concern. “You’re acting weird today,” he mumbled. “Not just the movie—which was the final straw because that was creepy and very unlike you—but earlier, too, with the other movies and even when we came home.” Brown eyes stole a glance at the redhead. “Did something happen?”

Woong blinked, lips parted but no sound coming out. He was fully aware of the silence that should have only lasted two seconds at most, had he added a puzzled head-tilt, but he couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. He was not a good liar. In fact, he hated to lie, and if he ever did, it was always as a joke and obvious to everyone in the vicinity. However, this issue did not involve Daehwi, and the last thing Woong wanted was to betray Donghyun, spread rumors, and bring unnecessary worry to the maknae for a—hopefully—misunderstood and solvable problem.

But still, what could he say that was even partly convincing?

Daehwi eyed his hyung’s conflicted eyes and nervous lip-biting for a few moments, then offered Woong a small smile before pouring the chips out of the bag a bit faster. They were standing on the invisible line of taking too long now. “It’s okay, Woongie-hyung,” he murmured. That snapped Woong out of it, and Daehwi continued, still smiling. “It’s okay to not tell me if it’s hard, but I’m still a little worried, so...” He paused, humming in thought. “Talk to Youngminie-hyung, okay?”

Woong couldn’t help the surprise in his voice. “W-What? Youngminie-hyung?”

Daehwi nodded, nudging Woong to pour the chips with more vigor while he balled up his own empty bag, purposefully making enough noise that could be a natural ‘we’re coming back in a few seconds’ gesture. “Youngminie-hyung is good at these things, you know. Go to Youngminie-hyung about anything and you’ll walk away with more than you bargained for—usually a good thing with Hyung.”

Woong stayed silent, but before he could get lost in his thoughts again, the young otter pursed his lips. “Call me oversensitive, but it’s best to get things out while it’s on your mind, you know.” His face softened. “I made that mistake before, and learned my lesson the hard way.”

He grabbed Woong’s now empty bag of chips and balled it up to join with his own.

* * *

“Yah!” Daehwi cried when he and Woong returned to the group. He glared at the main rapper who had made himself a little too comfortable in the otter’s previous spot.

Woojin barely spared him a glance as he stretched all four limps the farthest he could, then lied flat like a starfish. He sighed in contentment before meeting the youngest’s scowl with his own blank expression. “Serves you right for taking so long.”

“Since when has a minute been considered long?”

“Since when has it taken a minute to put a couple of chips in a bowl?”

Daehwi huffed. “Well, excuse me for trying to delay my inevitable death by heart attack from this crazy film!” He knelt and placed the bowls on the floor as Woong sat. Woojin immediately reached for a chip.

“If it’s inevitable, then what’s the point of delaying it?” He popped the chip in his mouth. “The faster, the better, right?”

“I like living, thank you.”

Another chip. “It’s not even that bad…”

Daehwi scoffed. “Says the one who’s been covering his eyes for most of it.” Woojin flushed.

“Are you two going to do this for the rest of the movie?” Youngmin cut in, interrupting the retort on the tip of the sparrow’s tongue. He glanced between the maknae-line, an amused smile playing on his lips. They all knew the two were just trying to distract themselves from the scenes flashing across the screen. Not that they minded. The movie wasn’t even paused—though that might have been because the whole group wanted to avoid the obvious jump-scare that was about to happen in a minute or so.

Woojin huffed and looked away. “Well, I’m comfortable,” he said, grabbing the nearest pillow—the one Daehwi had been shielding himself with before—and plopping his head down in finality. Evidently, that was the last straw, for the maknae marched over and sat right on top of the older’s back.

Chaos ensued on one side of the cushioned gathering while the remaining three members nonchalantly scooted over to give the two more room. Both Youngmin and Donghyun simultaneously moved the soda cans and snack-bowls aside as the maknae-line wrestled and struggled—Woojin and Daehwi, respectively—to claim the fluffiest spot in the room.

Woong, meanwhile, noticed how the space between YoungDong had closed quite a bit, the pair seemingly unaware of their sudden close proximity. Donghyun, grinning widely at the youngsters, subconsciously leaned toward the eldest, his head tilted and hand within reach of the other’s if only he stretched a little more. The brunette’s face went from amused to mild contentment quickly, his eyes never leaving the tussle, but the smile more natural than it had been earlier. Likewise, Youngmin’s body was angled in the brunette’s direction, totally relaxed and fully taking advantage of the extra available space his legs craved for. He sported a pretty timid but fond smile throughout their little marathon, but now a sparkle lit the raven’s eye that hadn’t before.

Of course, both pairs of eyes were completely trained on the sparrow and otter, but surely…this body language was not just a coincidence, right?

Just as Woong’s heart lightened, his mind came back to reality. Daehwi cried out a final time as Woojin pinned him down. The caramel-haired boy lay limp, cheeks rosy and chest heaving in large breaths. The dancer flashed a wicked grin, which was met only with a scowling pout, causing him to chuckle.

Daehwi sat up with a heavy sigh after Woojin flopped over to the side. “Fine…” The maknae glanced around, taking in what other spots were available. “I’ll just—YAH!” he shrieked, having glanced at the suspiciously black television screen right when a blood-stained figure literally appeared out of no where.

Woojin laughed, tugging the otter down. Daehwi didn’t say a word, letting himself fall against the dancer while half-heartedly blaring a whine into the pillow. Woojin smiled as he stroked the caramel locks, his eyes soft. “Aish, this kid…”

Donghyun turned his head around to share a smirk with the presence beside him. Whether he thought said presence was his Daejeon friend or he simply forgot he was on ‘iffy’ terms with Youngmin at the moment, Woong didn’t know, but as soon as the visual laid eyes on the leader, surprise and realization warped his features. Taken aback, Donghyun tried to straighten up and reposition himself, but accidently brushed Youngmin’s hand in the process. As far as Woong was concerned, the raven didn’t react at all, though he did glance at the vocal. Donghyun froze, forgetting to move as his fingers now hovered, shakily, just above the taller’s hand. He seemed uncertain…and even a bit scared.

Was it okay? Was it not?

 _‘Are we okay? Are we not?’_ Woong could see those very questions in the younger’s eyes.

The moment felt unbearably long, but in reality, it all played out in seconds. Youngmin turned away without a word, face expressionless, almost cold, eyes blank, and hand that made no mistake in touching the one asking for permission.

Seconds it played out. A scene really no different than literally any moment where one might be surprised at a friend’s presence and accidently touch them, only to be met with either laughter, confusion, or indifference. Youngmin, Woong swears, only took the indifference route, no matter how vaguely odd it was, but the pain in Donghyun’s eyes told another story. One Woong still couldn’t place.

The vocal lowered his head, bangs covering his eyes. A familiar sight Woong wasn’t expecting, or hoping, to see again—at least, not so soon. Donghyun pushed himself back up against the sofa, eyes to the floor and one knee bent with an arm resting on top. A safe position to think (or not think) while giving an air of normalcy, but enough privacy to not attract wandering eyes.

Woong’s heart sank. He couldn’t try anything special without garnering attention, but that didn’t stop him from immediately sitting at the brunette’s side and reaching out.

However, just as he placed his hand on Donghyun’s shoulder, the vocal suddenly raised his head and smiled brightly at him. “Have you picked one yet?”

Woong blinked several times. “H-Huh? Pick what?”

Donghyun gave him a mildly disappointed look. “A movie. It was our choice, remember? You haven’t picked one yet and this one’s almost over.”

Woong trembled a bit, mind boggled. “U-Uh…no. I—I don’t know what to watch.”

The visual pouted. “Aw, no fun.” He shot a grin over at the maknae-line. “Okay, Daehwi-ya. We can watch whatever you want next.”

Daehwi, snuggled under one of the comforters with Woojin, peeked out enough to show off twinkling eyes. He grabbed for the remote, but the main rapper took it from his grasp, stating how he didn’t trust the otter to not change the film before the horror movie was over. Daehwi huffed and mumbled a response Woong couldn’t make out before tucking back into the blanket, waiting for the credits.

Donghyun smiled gently watching the two, equal parts sadness and longing in his gaze. A moment later, he turned back to the television and regained the bright eyes and disturbingly charming smile. He cringed, clapped, and laughed at each horrific action scene, enthusiastically munching away on the chips and offering the bowl to Woong every few seconds the main vocal kept his eyes on him.

It was here the redhead experienced his awakening moment. Given the vocal’s behavior prior to the breakdown also, Woong decided the morning’s events really had occur. That moment, which spanned for a disturbingly sad length of time, must have been a buried truth. Woong wondered how much effort it was taking Donghyun to keep up this current façade, now that someone finally saw what he was truly feeling inside.

And how long did it take for the vocal to even manage this level of acting, to where it was so natural had circumstances been different?

Woong’s heart suddenly felt heavy.

Woong turned his attention to the back of Youngmin’s head. Who was he kidding? As much as it pained him to see Donghyun fighting through the hurt, there was no way to fix it unless he looked at the source. The real questions he should be asking was whether or not Youngmin did, in fact, ‘hate’ Donghyun. The idea was as foreign now as it was when the vocal first uttered the words, but then again, Woong wouldn’t have seen the visual’s pain had he not accidently triggered him. That only meant the same could be true for Youngmin.

If Woong only looked hard enough, would he be able to see the cracks in Youngmin’s armor as well?

Or would Woong have to somehow break that armor in order to find the thing his mind—his heart—doesn’t want him to see — or believe, for that matter?

 _“Go to Youngminie-hyung about anything and you’ll walk away with more than you bargained for,”_ Daehwi’s words echoed in Woong’s mind, and they were words he was going to follow.

_“Usually a good thing with Hyung.”_

Unfortunately for Woong, he didn’t know if the ‘bargain’ he’ll walk away with will be a good thing.


	4. Face Value

**_Finding Both Sides of the Coin…_ **

Woong actually made an effort to pay attention to the film Daehwi picked out, if only to talk with Donghyun and try to get him to relax. As it turned out, the movie was met with healthy discussion here and there and some laughter from everyone. A feel-good film that calmed the surface anxiety from Donghyun and seemed to have some kind of gratifying effect on the rest of them. Of course, the underlying tension was still there on Donghyun’s part, but for the moment, he was decent.

Until the next film. They weren’t even halfway through the action movie when Youngmin caught the maknae-line dozing off. He was met with some defiance with Woojin wanting to finish the movie (“I’m only tuning out the boring parts!”) and Daehwi simply curling up and trying to sleep (“Why make the room all warm and cozy if we weren’t going to have a sleepover? It’ll be like LieV.”). He had to physically remove them from their warm cocoon with a promise of finishing the movie another time in order for the two to do their nightly routine. Doing so propelled the alpaca to pass Donghyun to his destination, and the vocal brought his knees to his chest to prevent accidently tripping—touching—the eldest. Normal, sure, unless looking at the brunette’s face, where messy bangs camouflaged empty eyes.

Woong then suggested the younger to sleep as well while he and the leader tidied up. It was a completely innocent gesture, but rather than agree and leave, as Woong suspected, Donghyun seemed hesitant. The visual’s eyes were trained on Woong and occasionally trailed away in Youngmin’s direction as the raven contemplated whether he should take note of where the group stopped at in the film or if they should simply watch it from the beginning later on. The vocal’s mind was obviously working, debating, and processing something and his lips went into a line as his frustration grew. Only then did Woong realize Donghyun didn’t trust him to be alone with Youngmin. The younger must have been trying to come up with some kind of excuse to linger around should Woong decide to hang back longer than necessary.

And though the suggestion was truly dedicated to getting Donghyun away to breathe, Woong wouldn’t have put it past himself to take advantage of the time to try talking with the leader once they were alone.

So, all three ended up clearing the mess, putting away the cushions, and straightening the room to near perfection. There were casual chats here and there as the tasks were completed, and when all was said and done, Donghyun hung back when a particular movie scene ‘popped’ into his head that he wanted to discuss. Youngmin had sighed, his own exhaustion shining through. He tapped the two on the arm before making his way to his bedroom, wishing them a good night and reminding them of a schedule in two days, so they should sleep as well to avoid ruining their internal clock.

No sooner had the soft clicks of Youngmin’s door opening and closing confirmed his absence did Donghyun flash the redhead beside him a smile and bid him goodnight. Woong opened his mouth, but the brunette was already gliding down the hallway, humming a tune and pretending not to notice the hand that reached for his retreating back.

* * *

Woong lay in his bed the next morning, chest heavy and head pounding, though he wasn’t sure if it was due to lack of sleep or the endless thoughts that ran his mind ragged. Woojin slept blissfully in his own bed across the room, tucked under the blankets with no sign of waking up any time soon. As he should be. It was after seven in the morning and no idol in their right mind would ever wake up that early if they didn’t have to.

That logic should include the little sprout, yet here Woong was, wide awake and staring the morning sunlight slipping through the blinds right in the face.

He let out a harsh breath of air before getting up and leaving the room. Trudging down the hallway toward the kitchen, Woong slapped at his cheeks and massaged the aftereffects, pleading with himself to not think about the day and instead enjoy the glass of water he was about to grab.

But of course, the one time he wants peace, he doesn’t get it. Woong halted at the hallway’s entrance. Youngmin stood at the kitchen table, his camera and a small bag with a long strap sitting on top. He was dressed in casual outerwear and appeared quite perky for such an hour.

Perhaps the sprout wasn’t the only weirdo, after all.

The raven was fiddling with whatever items were in his bag when he noticed his perplexed dongsaeng’s presence. It took a moment’s silence, as if the alpaca was wondering why in the world someone would be up this early on an off-day—ironic, considering said alpaca loved sleep more than anyone. Nonetheless, he gave the main vocal a bright smile and cheerful morning greeting, which only made the redhead internally groan.

“Bad dream?” Youngmin asked.

“No…” Woong trailed off, running through every scenario that could unfold, then deflated just as quick. What did he expect to happen? Nothing remotely unusual occurred between them, and Youngmin was clearly oblivious to yesterday’s events, so…there was no reason why he couldn’t just go with the flow.

The redhead smiled, grimacing at the amount of effort the action suddenly called for. “Just woke up for whatever reason.” Which was true. He tried keeping his voice light and airy as he approached, eyeing the camera. “Photography again?”

A nod. “Remember my behind-the-scenes clip in Brand New Boys where I used ‘spring’ as my theme?” Woong hummed in acknowledgement as he filled a glass with water. “Well, it’s almost summer, so this is probably my last chance to really capture ‘spring.’” He made a ‘fighting!’ gesture with the most determined face framed by extra fluffy cheeks. Woong couldn’t help but laugh at the sight, making Youngmin’s smile twitch. “There’ll be life this time…” the alpaca grumbled, turning away with his head tilted down.

Woong patted the sulking eldest’s shoulder, but didn’t bother to correct the misinterpretation. Youngmin pouted, ignoring him and going back to checking the contents of his bag. All of Woong’s inhibitions and misgivings disappeared watching the sensitive leader. The raven was really too easy to tease and mess with. “I know there will. Be sure to share those photos with the rest of us, all right?”

The eldest immediately perked up, eyes sparkling and teeth peeking through curved lips. “Of course!”

Woong vaguely wondered how Donghyun can be anxious with such a softie for a hyung. It was hard to stay on your toes around him when it was so simple to gain the upper hand, especially when the leader was pretty predictable. Then a thought occurred to him. “Actually…” Woong paused, smirking to himself. “Can I join you?” Youngmin blinked, but the redhead only flashed him a wide smile.

And so, after a hasty retreat and change of clothes—Youngmin said he could take his time, have breakfast, and pack whatever he might want bring, but the main vocal was not risking any of the others waking up and wanting to tag along—the duo was out the door. However, Youngmin was insistent on the two eating before going any further, so they stopped at a small restaurant before heading on their way. Woong found himself too intimidated by the face-to-face setting to ask any questions or reveal his muddled thoughts, so they chatted about future plans and the movies the previous night.

“We really should finish the marathon one of these days,” Youngmin had said at one point while snapping a fried egg apart with his chopsticks. “Or else Woojinie won’t let me live it down.” He munched on the egg before going on. “And I know Donghyunie doesn’t like leaving movies unfinished either, but he won’t watch it without the rest of us.”

Woong restrained a noise of surprise. For someone supposedly on bad terms with the young vocal, he wasn’t expecting the eldest to bring him up himself. Still, Woong couldn’t broach the subject like he wanted to. The first thing that came to mind in relation to the topic was the two’s weird interaction the previous night, but that was hardly something to talk about. Instead, he nodded. “Dongdong will probably whine about it every day until we do.”

After breakfast, they finally made their way toward Han River. Along the way, Youngmin took pictures of random things. A decorative sign of a gift shop, a cloud he claimed looked like the number ‘6’, colorful candy at a stand that was shaped into a strange swirling tower, and even one of a bewildered Woong doing aegyo when Youngmin ordered “Pose!” out of nowhere. By the time the two arrived at the river, they were already in high spirits. As they had hoped, this Han River was the opposite of its Brand New Boys Behind counterpart. Though late in the season, cherry blossoms filled many trees, softening the scenery against the pale yet harsh blue of the sky. The vibrant green reeds swaying with the wind complemented the stray pink petals dancing in the morning breeze. As they walked further in, Woong could see the ground had already begun making way for the summer flowers as a tiny mix of colorful buds dotted the grass. In the distance, they could even see teachers guiding small children to school.

There were almost too many things the redhead could pick out that screamed ‘spring’, but it seemed Youngmin was on a mission to capture it all. Woong sat on a nearby bench and watched the leader bend, stretch, tilt, and kneel to get the best angles, a large grin on the raven’s face. Woong almost purred at the sight. Such a contrast to the eldest’s last escapade.

However, it wasn’t long before the main vocal started to get a little uninterested in the whole thing. The setting was pretty, but there was only so much Woong could take looking at the same thing. Youngmin enjoyed his time, finding picturesque subjects, taking photos, checking his captures, deleting the ones that came out too blurry or too flared, going back for redos or different angles, repeat…but all Woong did was sit and watch. Even though he usually spent his days off practicing, his body still had enough sense to wait until it was a reasonable time to do so on an otherwise open day, and nine o’clock—he thought that was the time, could be a little later—was not it, so he couldn’t even stretch or do vocal warm-ups to pass the time. He hummed, swung his legs back and forth, took several short walks down the river, and even pointed at some shy flowers tucked behind the bench leg for Youngmin to take a photo of, but the redhead was so bored, he wanted to scream, if only to release some built-up energy.

Why didn’t he grab his phone on the way out?

“You can leave if you want to, you know,” a voice broke Woong out of his thoughts. The main vocal looked up to see Youngmin knelt by the reeds in front of him, taking a photo before looking at Woong with a small understanding smile. “You don’t have to force yourself just to keep me company.”

Woong flushed and immediately began waving his hands. “No, it’s not that. I’m having fun, really!” Youngmin raised a brow and tilted his head, giving Woong _that_ look, which the younger sighed at. “It’s just…” He gestured at the scenery. “Maybe I’m impatient from the lack of sleep, but just sitting here looking at the river isn’t very exciting to me.”

Youngmin only blinked, pure puzzlement on his face. “Then why don’t you do something besides sitting…?” He said it as if it were obvious.

Woong scrunched his eyes shut, wrinkled his nose, and let out a noise similar to a whine. “I did, but it didn’t work.” He leaned back in the bench, arms crossed and lips in a full pout. The taller chuckled, standing from his knelt position to walk over and sit beside the main vocal. Youngmin patted the dyed red locks in a comforting gesture though amusement danced in his eyes, and Woong hummed, looking up at the sky. “I don’t know…” he mused. “I guess I’m just not as much of a nature person as I thought. This seems more like a Donghyun thing.”

The silence really was brief, but lasted only a moment too long for Woong’s liking. It was in this same moment when Woong realized what he had said. It wasn’t intentional, but definitely wasn’t an unwelcomed opening. Quickly—and perhaps too eagerly—he stole a glance at Youngmin. The raven’s eyes were cast toward the river, slightly wide and seeing something the redhead couldn’t, but his lips were curved in a fond smile. “You’re right.” Woong didn’t know why the leader was speaking so softly. “Donghyunie could sit here all day and enjoy himself from the moment he arrives to the time he leaves.”

Woong studied him. Youngmin’s body was a little tense, not resting against the back of the bench, and arms stiffly at his sides while fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the camera on the raven’s lap. The shorter pursed his lips. “Why do you go out by yourself all the time?”

Youngmin looked surprised at the question, and tilted his head as he turned back to his companion. “Where did that come from?”

Woong shrugged. “It’s just…I don’t know. You seem more relaxed now than you did trying to take photos here before, and I was wondering if it’s because you have someone with you this time.” He paused, slightly taken aback by Youngmin’s lack of reaction. Only a blank gaze and a blink. “Even if that someone isn’t being good company,” he added, pouting again.

This time, the leader smiled and ruffled the red hair. “I’m having fun, Woongie, don’t worry.” He grinned, then sulked a bit. “Did I look that bad? It’s hard focusing on broadcasting and casual photography at the same time…but I’m fine by myself.” He sat back on the bench, arms looser than before, but still not quite relaxed. “Besides, Woojinie and I go out sometimes, so there’s that.”

“And Donghyunie?”

Delayed response, then wide eyes—surprised again? “Huh?”

“Has Donghyun ever came with you on your trips?” The main vocal gestured to the river and overhead, including any other place the alpaca may visit or venture when taking photos.

Youngmin shrugged. “He used to, sometimes, but not recently.”

Woong made a noise, leaning forward. “Why?”

Youngmin’s eyes trailed to the side, his head following the action as he hummed thoughtfully. “Is there a reason why?” His tone was light and suggested that Woong should put more thought into his own question. Suddenly the main vocal felt like he was getting an indirect lecture from the leader. “I said sometimes, not all the time.” He glanced back at Woong. “Plus, we’ve been busy, remember? I think all of us prefer doing our own things when we’re able to.”

Woong nodded slowly, restraining himself from mentioning how the young vocal always seemed willing and able to do whatever the redhead wanted and not so much himself, but the reminder of taking advantage of Donghyun’s kindness ate away at him. The MXM duo obviously had spent a lot of time together before he came along. Maybe he was a catalyst after all… “Invite Donghyunie next time,” Woong said, mouth quick and words pressed. His voice was almost pleading with the weight of the guilt on his shoulders. “I think he’d enjoy it.”

The eldest stilled, visibly tense as he stared straight into Woong’s soul. The redhead’s stomach dropped, replaying just how he sounded as a small knot formed in his throat he tried to keep at bay. Youngmin eyes searched and studied Woong from top to bottom. Even though his body was indeed rigid, his face was soft, but Woong couldn’t place the expression. Eventually, after some silent seconds—a minute?—Youngmin frowned slightly, his eyes nothing but concerned now. “Is something wrong?” he quietly asked.

Woong looked away. “No, why?”

He didn’t have to see the alpaca to know the frown had gotten deeper. “Don’t lie to me, Woong-ah.” The voice was still soft, but much firmer. It wanted answers, but was nice enough not to tear the main vocal apart to get them. The leader side was coming out, and Woong wanted to melt into his shoes. “If something’s bothering you, you have to tell me. Does it have to do with Donghyun? Did something happen?”

Woong shook his head and groaned, chiding himself and asking why he hadn’t learned how to keep his feelings in check yet. “It’s not like that. I just… I just…” He kept his eyes down so Youngmin couldn’t see the panic the redhead knew was reflecting in them. “The thought just popped into my mind, is all.” Woong raised his head up to Youngmin, determination in his gaze. “Being here and watching you take photos, it just reminded me of the times you and Dongdong had those outings during MXM.” Not a lie at all, just not the whole truth. “It looked like fun, and I was just thinking maybe you two doing that would be nice—you know, reliving those days and all, since it’s been a while.”

The eldest listened intently, but his no-nonsense expression didn’t change. Woong sweated. What happened to the soft hyung he always knew? “I guess lack of sleep and this setting really throws me off,” Woong continued, heart thumping. “Not only am I not really a nature person, I’m also a bit of a sap.” He grinned, the gesture feeling awkward on his own lips.

However, maybe that was what he needed. Youngmin moved back a bit, his expression far from satisfied with Woong’s answer, but for whatever reason, he didn’t push the subject like the redhead thought he would. His eyes were also a bit strange, but Woong couldn’t place why. “Yes, it was fun…” the raven murmured carefully, almost cautiously. Was he that conflicted about letting the main vocal go so easily? “We’ll see, Woong-ah. We’ll see…” Youngmin looked away, studying their surroundings.

It was silent again and the eldest made no move to follow-up the meager reply. Woong suddenly felt cold, like he said something he shouldn’t have, yet didn’t know exactly what he said wrong either. The leader didn’t completely buy his story, anyone could see that, but should that warrant this kind of reaction? Why didn’t the raven just keep pushing the subject if he wasn’t content? It never stopped him before.

Should Woong continue talking, trying to fend off the doubt? No, that would make things more suspicious, wouldn’t it? But the silence seemed equally as damaging…

Woong racked his brain for something to say. He almost didn’t hear the casual, “I thought about Donghyunie, too.”

Woong perked up, eyes wide in disbelief. Did he not mess up after all? Did he do a good thing? “Wha—Really?”

Youngmin nodded, stretching his arms overhead, eyes still on the river. “It’s been a while since I had company. Donghyunie was the last one. We came here once right after MXM ended its last schedule, so that came to my mind this morning when you said you wanted to join me.” He paused, then a smirk wormed its way onto the alpaca’s features. “Such a contrast. Dongdong was enthusiastic about the Han River despite the cold and even wanted to be in my photos, but you’re just moping on a bench regretting your life choices.”

Woong blushed. “I wasn’t moping!” But the raven only chuckled.

“Let’s all come here next time,” Youngmin said, smiling. “The five of us. We could have a picnic or something.”

The redhead grinned, heart soaring. “That would be great!”

* * *

Woong found he actually didn’t mind the outing, he just needed some other form of entertainment as well, which was where Youngmin came in. The two spent the time chatting and strolling. Youngmin shared the photos he took with Woong, in which the younger teased how some of them kind of resembled summer more than spring. It took a few minutes to cheer up the sulking leader, and Woong contemplated (albeit briefly) not poking fun at things his hyung actually worked hard on.

During lunch, Woong forgot how much of a chatterbox he was without Donghyun around. Where he and the visual made conversation with equal voices, Youngmin was nearly mute with only the occasional word of acknowledgement or curious question to help keep the discussion going. Woong naturally filled even a second of silence with words and Youngmin simply smiled and listened.

 _Was Youngminie-hyung always this quiet?_ Woong wondered at some point.

Their talk at Han River made Woong feel a thousand times better than the day before, but even so, he still wanted a bit of reassurance. Every now and then, he’d throw Donghyun’s name into conversation—sometimes camouflaged with the maknae members, but mostly not—and watch the raven’s reactions. Cool, calm, and collected…but took time to respond whenever Woong suggested one-on-one settings or even team-based competition. Woong didn’t think much of it because Youngmin always seemed perplexed at the ideas themselves, as if he was trying to decipher when the little sprout got so interested in each of them. It must have also been intriguing how much said shorty was passionate about everyone’s hobbies and spending time together. After all, wasn’t team-bonding a Youngmin-only obsession?

Woong mentally kicked himself, yet the leader seemed to be oblivious and actually find him cute.

Their time was interrupted, though, when Youngmin received a video call from Woojin. The dancer’s face took up most of the screen, but if one looked closely, the charming asymmetrical eyes of a little otter was trying to peek through the only opening to be seen, too. “Buy us meat,” came the deadpan demand, followed by a dull _smack_ , then, “What was that for!?” as the sparrow turned to glare over his shoulder.

“Is that any way to talk to Hyung when you want something?” the maknae chided.

“Yes. Get over it.” Woojin faced the camera again, expression resolute. However, the _“Yah!”_ behind him made the main rapper give a small dramatic sigh. “Hyung…” The word came out half-hearted, obviously said only to appease the boy scowling in the background. “Buy us meat.” Another dull _smack_. “Please.”

“Don’t you have money?” the raven asked, though he didn’t seem fazed at the request.

“Yes, but we want to spend Hyung’s money.” Youngmin scoffed. The alpaca and sparrow appeared to have a staring contest of sorts, but soon, a faint growl could be heard on the other line and Woojin pouted. “Donghyunie-hyung won’t buy us any.”

“I wonder why,” Youngmin mused, then sighed in defeat. “Okay…”

“Meet us at the usual place.” With that, the call ended without so much as a goodbye.

Woong could only stare, and Youngmin answered his silent question with an indifferent shrug. It was normal, and Woong chuckled. The raven tucked his phone in his bag and slipped out of his seat, stretching with a content expression. “Coming with us?” he asked when the redhead didn’t move from his seat.

Woong shook his head, already giddy at the thought of talking to Donghyun. “Nah. Today was fun, but I think I’ll head home now.” The leader grinned, and Woong couldn’t not smile back even if he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have this extremely bad habit of writing slice-of-life and trying to develop or hint at relationships as realistically as possible, which means gradual and slow progression. I've been pointedly trying not to do that with this fic (a real struggle. Not lying), to kind of get to the point but not too fast, but I've been slipping since the previous chapter, and it's especially slipping in this chapter, aya... I'll try harder to hold back, because seriously, I could make five chapters in a row of Dongpaca awkwardness to really show how far the conflict goes, or three chapters in a row of Youngmin's alpaca-ness, and not bat an eye (which I'd never do either of those things, but I could.)
> 
> HOWEVER, my point in bringing that up is because this chapter (though slow and kind of uneventful—yes, I'm bitter and unsatisfied) is for Woong's development. Some of you may see it already, which I hope, but others might not and that's okay, too.
> 
> Good news? This was originally 6000+ words, but I decided to split it into two chapters to highlight Woongpaca (WoongMin? YoungWoong? What's their ship name again? TT), so I'll post the other chapter in just a few days. Woo~
> 
> Also, very important. I see a lot of dispute about the whole kudos change-thing, but reading through it made me remember something about commenting. I know I had said that I appreciate feedback, but that doesn't mean I don't like short responses simply saying you like the story/chapter (or heck, even only saying 'kudos!' is fine with me). I'm not at all asking for comments or anything. I'm just saying that if you're someone who wants to comment but feels anxious because it's not a three-paragraph essay of constructive criticism, don't be. I appreciate all comments (except obvious flames) and they go a long way for me knowing someone enjoyed a story/chapter. I try to thank everyone, too, so don't worry about getting a bad response from me either (that happened to me once, and I was like, "What? How rude...?").
> 
> The only thing I ask is no spamming, please. ^_^
> 
> In any case, hope you all enjoyed~ <3
> 
> And PLEASE stay safe and healthy with everything going on in the world today, okay? I want to keep seeing your lovely usernames/existence, haha~


	5. Outsider

**_What Went Wrong…_ **

Heading back to the dorm, Woong hummed a merry tune and highlighted his walk with grace and steps that only years of training could develop. The sun began to set maybe a half hour before and painted the crystal-blue sky with long orange strokes, their edges blending into the blue to create smaller streaks of yellows and pinks. The streets were relatively active with middle-aged women carrying groceries back home, teenagers on their phones heading either to home or cram school, and the occasional couple holding hands and chatting the day away. Woong smiled at them.

His original suspicions were right. Of course, he still didn’t have a clue what exactly happened between Donghyun and Youngmin, but the situation was not as grim as he had feared. Woong was attentive all day, yet Youngmin had been nothing but pleasant from the early morning to the time they parted ways. The alpaca spoke of Donghyun himself, fond and no hesitation. The only times the answers or tone was questionable was due to Woong’s own wording, randomness, or supposedly unprovoked enthusiasm, which made the raven’s reactions totally understandable.

Whatever the event was that caused the duo’s conflict, Youngmin seemed to have already gotten over it.

Youngmin did not hate Donghyun. Not at all.

At most, maybe the rapper felt too awkward to approach the vocal. It might be difficult to start the conversation. Woong knew that feeling all too well. The way Donghyun hangs onto the other members and avoids even a light discussion without anyone else around doesn’t make it any easier. Woong could only imagine if he was in Youngmin’s place and the visual was always ‘conveniently’ in the right place at the right time that the redhead couldn’t so much as throw a silent ‘can we talk?’ look without garnering attention. He’d never have an opportunity to speak to the brunette, and worse, his nerves and anxiety would build until he probably couldn’t say what was on his mind even if lady luck finally blessed him with the perfect circumstances. He might just give up altogether.

But there was no way he was going to allow Youngmin to give up on Donghyun.

Or allow Donghyun to give up on Youngmin.

The only problem was convincing the vocal as much. The red, tear-stained face of the usually bright visual flashed through Woong’s mind, followed by his disturbing resemblance to a deer in headlights from accidentally touching Youngmin’s hand. Woong sighed, his steps slowing as doubt poked at his excitement.

How on earth was he going to do this?

_“Donghyunie could sit here all day and enjoy himself from the moment he arrives to the time he leaves.”_

The redhead raised his head. The smile on Youngmin’s face and the soft gaze in his eyes when he said those words were unmistakable. He missed Donghyun. He wanted the vocal there with him at that very moment.

And whatever it was Woong had to do, he was going to make that happen.

He couldn’t wait to see his best friend happier than ever. The image made his heart sing—

Though, the thought of those two reverting back to the MXM-era of flirtation also made Woong pause, semi-reconsidering this entire Get YoungDong (Back) Together Operation…

Woong chuckled to himself, gliding as he entered the dorm. He headed straight for Donghyun’s room, hoping the vocal was inside since it didn’t seem like he was with the maknae-line. Smiling bright, the redhead knocked on the bedroom door. “Donghyunie-ah, are you home?”

Before all the words were out of his mouth, the door swung open, and the moment Woong finished saying the words, he was tugged inside. He stumbled at the force, but caught himself before bumping into anything. Woong turned to see the disheveled brunette standing in front of the now closed—and locked, he noticed—door. Careful eyes stared back at the redhead, surprise and apology reflected in them, likely for the unintentional strength that was used in pulling the main vocal into the room. However, beneath that gentle surface, several different emotions swirled in torrents. Irritation, fear, regret, sorrow, panic—on closer inspection, the young vocal was even trembling. Barely visible, but still there. “Donghyunie, what happened?”

The underwater conflict solidified until a pair of quivering daggers targeted the redhead instead. “I don’t know, Hyung. That’s the problem.” His voice was strained, fighting between staying composed and reflecting whatever dominant emotion was taking the boy over on the inside. “You and Youngmin-hyung were gone when I woke up…I tried calling and texting, but you wouldn’t answer…Youngmin-hyung never returned either, and…” Woong paled. Donghyun’s reaction at finding neither of them in the dorm didn’t even occur to him.

Donghyun bared his teeth briefly. He crossed his arms—whether it was to collect himself or hide the increased trembling of his hands, Woong didn’t know—and leaned back against the door. This time, the words came out in a low voice. Equal parts of frustration and fear echoing in its tone. “I was on the brink of losing it worrying about what you were telling Hyung, how he was taking it, what I should expect…” he trailed off.

Woong sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, Donghyun-ah. I wasn’t ignoring you… I was in a rush and forgot my phone. I think it’s still on my bed somewhere.”

The hostile expression softened to mild understanding, then further changed to one Woong couldn’t read as well. Not really sorrowful, but not quite neutral either. Donghyun trained his eyes to the ground. “…What did you tell Youngmin-hyung?” His voice was thick with defeat.

Woong was firm when he spoke, and his lack of hesitance made the visual pause. “I didn’t tell him anything, Donghyunie.” Woong approached until he could place a hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” Donghyun looked up, cautious hope in his eyes, and Woong smiled. The shoulder beneath his hand relaxed, raising and lowering with the deep breaths the vocal began taking. Woong squeezed it for added reassurance.

“Then, nothing happened?” came the quiet question. “Like at all? He doesn’t know anything?” Woong nodded, and Donghyun slid to the floor, a large sigh of relief leaving his lips on the way down. Woong joined him, kneeling in front of the brunette and straightening the messy locks. Nearly a minute passed before the trembling fully stopped, then Donghyun smiled slightly. “I was really going crazy, you know.”

“I know. I didn’t think about how you’d react. I’m sorry.”

Donghyun shook his head. “No, I am. I should have talked to you last night, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” Woong tilted his head in question. “This is all out of the blue to you, but I pushed you to ignore it like it was nothing without even saying why.”

Woong perked up, his heart skipping a beat where hope and curiosity now resided. He sat cross-legged in front of the vocal, eyes attentive, ears alert, and mind ready to make sense of every question and conflict that arose in the last two days. However, Donghyun looked away, and the redhead’s hope stilled. “Donghyunie?” he softly prompted.

The visual brought his knees to his chest, folded his arms on top, and allowed his head to roll back onto the door to stare at the ceiling, looking thoughtful. “I want you to forget about yesterday because I’m still sorting my own thoughts and figuring things out, in more ways than one.” He looked at the puzzled and somewhat bewildered main vocal. “And I can’t do that with a nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that I can’t relax.” He managed a small, but tired-looking grin. “I don’t like being on my toes around _both_ you and Youngmin-hyung. It’s not fun, and I’m already going crazy over it.” He chuckled, though there was no humor in it.

Woong frowned. “But Donghyun-ah, you don’t have to worry about me. You know I’d never do that.”

Donghyun nodded slowly, glancing away sheepishly. “I know that now, but still…” A helpless shrug. “That voice is there and it won’t go away unless I have your word to just forget everything. I need to get over this myself.”

The redhead took hold of the boy’s hand. “But Donghyun-ah, you don’t have to.” At the vocal’s curious look, Woong beamed. “I didn’t say anything to Youngminie-hyung about yesterday, but we did talk about other things, and you were one of them.” Uncertainty and fear flashed across the boy’s face, but Woong patted his hand. “Don’t worry. They were only good things.”

However, the brunette shook his head, tucking his chin to his chest. “I really don’t want to hear it, Hyung.”

Woong paused, letting out a brief sound of surprise before recomposing himself and squeezing the vocal’s hand tighter. “No, you don’t understand. It really was good. He—” Donghyun pulled away from him, hiding both of his hands behind his knees and out of the main vocal’s reach. Woong struggled not to show his disbelief, his cheeks warming in vague frustration. “Donghyun-ah, listen—”

“I did something I wasn’t supposed to, Hyung,” the visual cut in, head down and voice just over a whisper.

The redhead froze. “W-What?”

Donghyun didn’t look at him. Silence and an uncomfortable tension settled between them with one member unsure how to go on and the other regretting ever saying a word. Donghyun opened and closed his mouth several times with the occasional sound coming out, but nothing more than ambiguous notes. Woong made no move to prompt the younger this time, no longer certain where this conversation was heading.

Eventually, the vocal inhaled deeply, reaching for the floor with one hand and drumming his fingers against the smooth wood. He avoided eye contact with the presence in front of him, keeping his focus trained on the movement of his fingers. “I got greedy,” Donghyun said quietly, gently, a feeling of acceptance and regret all mixed in one breath that somehow made Woong shiver. “I was selfish. I knew the line, but crossed it anyway.” He paused, thinking, pondering, considering the steps that led up to a point in time Woong was unaware of. “I knew Youngmin-hyung might get angry…he had every right to be, really…but I didn’t think he’d—” Donghyun tilted his head, twitching slightly and mouth opening wide to swallow the words he was about to say. “…It went beyond that.” His voice got smaller, so much so, Woong had to lean in to hear properly. “I realized I was the only one who might have felt more than friendship…and now I think I even messed that up. He doesn’t forgive me, and at this point, it’s getting harder to believe he ever will.” Woong’s lips curved downward as the edges.

Donghyun’s eyes gradually swelled, but no tears appeared to be forming. The drumming stopped, reverting the room back to the eerie silence as Woong waited for the visual to calm down. In seconds, the brunette glanced up with a weak smile. “But even so, Youngmin-hyung can push aside his personal feelings, be the leader everyone expects him to be, and the hyung I need, so it—it’s only fair that I do the same and be a good dongsaeng to him.” He directed his eyes to the wall. “But it hurts hearing him say certain things when we both know those things aren’t true anymore.” His voice was barely even a whisper now. “That’s why I don’t—I can’t—know what Youngmin-hyung said about me today. I can’t, Hyung… Not yet.”

“But Donghyun-ah…” Woong trailed off, hands moving in a hopeless gesture while his heart pumped at a troubling pace. Confusion, disbelief, frustration, and desperation clouded the main vocal’s mind. He could have leapt for joy at Donghyun finally opening up about the conflict between him and Youngmin, but the brunette continued to be vague. Woong couldn’t possibly try to understand the visual’s perspective if he left out the details, but he wouldn’t dare push his luck and ask when it was obvious the boy didn’t want to tell and fully relive the trauma. Biting his bottom lip, Woong squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before speaking. The emotions threatened to consume his words, and he didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Youngmin at the river. “Have you talked to him since then?”

The younger shrugged, shaking his head and glancing at the main vocal. “Unless it’s something serious or has to do with the group, we want to keep our distance—at least for now,” he hastily added when Woong’s eyebrow twitched and he opened his mouth.

But the redhead gave him a stern look anyway, those words striking a cord he didn’t know was already worn thin. “Did Youngminie-hyung say he wanted that?”

Donghyun blinked, confusion poking through his previously hesitant state. “No, but he didn’t have to. I can tell.”

Woong pondered briefly, taking in everything he has heard and seen the last few months. He didn’t know when the event between Donghyun and Youngmin occurred, but watching the younger the previous night led to finding the imperfections in the mask he has worn for who knows how long. Of course, that could have been because Woong now knew of something he wasn’t supposed to, but still, it was there.

Woong was careful to keep an eye on Youngmin ever since the eldest returned to the dorm the day before, and though the back of his head was less than the perfect viewpoint to snoop, the raven’s other actions, even the ones with Donghyun, read pretty natural to the redhead’s eyes. Not once did the eldest hesitate, panic, run away, or even give a silent warning to the brunette. If anything, he was unresponsive to everything—which was a bit odd, yes, but not at all unusual either. If the rapper was not in the mood to socialize or even interact with a particular person, he simply wasn’t in the mood. No offense or bad feelings attached. He just needed his down time, and as the leader and hyung of four rambunctious boys, the alpaca had to compromise the typical introvert method of ‘recharging-to-full-capacity when alone’ to ‘somewhat-recharging-to-half-capacity when in the presence of endlessly-energetic individuals.’

It hit Woong hard in the beginning when he first encountered Youngmin in this blank, almost anti-social state after AB6IX’s five-member approval. To him, it came out of nowhere, and the redhead couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong for the raven to act that way towards him. His distress was made worse when Woojin tried to explain with a simple, _“He doesn’t like you right now”_ , which sent Woong into an instant panic, but Donghyun quickly clarified the ‘explanation’ before the main vocal was damaged beyond repair. It took a while, but Woong got used to this side of the rapper and didn’t take it personally, and he also learned not to take Woojin so seriously all the time.

However, as much as Donghyun knew about Youngmin, he was still in a sensitive, borderline broken state. Could he just be forgetting about the alpaca’s recouping methods and blowing things out of proportion?

“Donghyunie,” the redhead said. “Please, just listen to me. I was watching very carefully, and Youngminie-hyung was happy.” The brunette paled, but Woong gestured for him to wait and relax. “He brought you up himself sometimes, and even considered asking you to join him on his next photography run to Han River, like you did after MXM’s last schedule.”

Donghyun’s eyes doubled in size, but not out of pleasant surprise, to Woong’s astonishment. A strange and quiet sound escaped the vocal’s throat, something between a hiccup and a whine. His previously somewhat calm but sorrowful expression changed to a disappointed, watery smile. When he spoke, his voice reverted back to that small, broken level, thick in acceptance with a distressed undertone. “He didn’t mean it, Hyung,” he said. “He just said that to hide his real feelings. That’s what…”

Woong scowled now, tuning out the brunette’s words. ‘Hate’ this, ‘hate’ that. ‘Not wanting to be near’ here, ‘not wanting anything to do with’ there. Now ‘ruined friendship’ and ‘no forgiveness.’

It was all too harsh. Too drastic. Too strong of words that described impeccably strong feelings, yet here Donghyun was…spouting them out as easily as stating how blue the sky was when Youngmin obviously felt nothing of the sort toward the vocal—

And it got on Woong’s nerves. Yes, the vocal was in pain, but Donghyun was one of the most sensible and reasonable people the main vocal knew. Why couldn’t he listen just this once?

Before he could stop himself or even process the words, the redhead’s mouth was already moving, forgetting the filter he tried so hard to build. “Stop overreacting, Donghyun-ah! Have you ever thought about Youngmin-hyung’s mood-swings? Can’t you just think for a second and hear how ridiculous this whole thing sounds?”

Donghyun’s tiny smile held for a frozen moment, then slowly, so slowly, the face of acceptance morphed into one of hurt, the misery in his dark eyes making way for a flash of shock and betrayal.

Broken streaks of light shined through the closed blinds and into the dim room. The light highlighted the shimmer growing in the visual’s eyes, dancing in time to the quivering water held in place, and a pang hit Woong’s heart.

“You don’t know anything, Hyung,” the brunette murmured, yet held all the weight of the pain he felt. His stare was steady, eyes wide in wonder yet static in a frightening resolve. “What do you know about us?” He paused, letting the question register, but not waiting for an answer. “Do you know our thoughts? All of our habits when we’re angry, sad, or happy?” The vocal sniffled slightly, but his voice grew stronger. “Do you know what we strive for being in a group we didn’t know we’d even be able to be a part of?” His head lowered, bangs creating a dark shadow over swollen eyes. “What do you know about us in a few months that compares to the years of knowledge we have of each other?”

Woong paled as Donghyun slowly, shakily, got to his feet. “Don’t go making assumptions or feeling righteous when the only things you know are what we tell you or the bits you’ve happened to see as a backup dancer.”

It felt as if time stopped. The soft rays filtering in seemed to cast a spotlight on the young vocal while the rest of the room fell in a dark hue. Woong could barely make out any other area touched by golden light as the sun set, outlining the visual in its descent. All attention was given to Donghyun, and Woong suddenly felt small. Smaller than the mere fact that he was still sitting on the floor, staring up at a brunette who refused to look at him.

It was as if he was a trainee again. So close to idolhood, right there seeing just some of what idols have to face and go through, and getting to acquaint himself with known celebrities and industry professionals…yet not being good enough to stand on a stage, be welcomed into that idol life, and actually be able to have his own experiences—

Not truly being accepted by any one of these celebrities or professionals because he did not, in fact, know what it was like…nor did they have the freedom and normal-life experience he possessed, so there was no room to bond…no room to truly connect.

He knew the MXM duo better than any fan because they were on a personal level, trained at the same company, had interactions that went beyond a simple ‘hi’ and ‘bye’—

At least, that’s what Woong thought, but…Donghyun was right. What _did_ he know? The things the fans knew, just with the added bonus of personally experiencing the duo’s quirks? He never trained with them, was not there when they went through the hardships they experienced separately that ultimately helped bring them closer, didn’t know what changed and what developed from said experiences… He didn’t know how their minds worked before and after their first debut, and how they grew since then… Now that he thought about it, Woong has never even seen any of the AB6IX members truly sad or angry before now, so he _didn’t_ know what they were like when they were down, let alone at their worst.

He didn’t know any of that.

The things Woong saw and felt from Youngmin earlier this very day…there were some odd actions or reactions, but the redhead excused them. There were simple and reasonable explanations for every one of those moments, so he hadn’t felt a need to ponder longer than necessary… But what if those things were some of the habits Donghyun was referring to?

Woong replayed the last minute in his mind, rethinking and absorbing the brunette’s words, then suddenly, he went cold. The weight of the words that left the main vocal’s mouth in a fit of desperation and frustration finally registered in Woong’s mind, and instantly, an overwhelming sense of guilt settled in his stomach. His eyes widened, his heart banged against his ribcage, his body couldn’t keep still—the main vocal struggled to breathe. “Donghyun-ah, I—”

“Hyung, please…” came the uneven wisp of a voice, mirroring the fists that trembled at the young visual’s sides. “I don’t want to talk anymore. This isn’t your problem.”

“But I—”

“Leave me alone, Hyung,” Donghyun murmured. A single tear fell from the hidden space beneath the dark bangs, and the droplet’s meeting with the floor seemed to resonate in the silence of the room. “Just leave me alone… We’ll be okay without your ‘help.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick shoutout to my lovely commenters. You all are amazing and the feedback I've gotten have been helpful beyond words. You guys rock. <3
> 
> Fun Fact: Originally, this chapter was 2100+ words, but after glaring at it for the past few days, it's now 3600+. xP


End file.
